[Open Call] Forbidden Toys Catalogue

Vol. 3 of LHC's Forbidden Toys Catalogue: the fake Christmas catalogue turns into a product recall. Generate AI toys that don't exist, vile and flawless, as pure shelf tags (name, fake price, lying instructions). Five proposals maximum. Deadline November 15, 2026 at 8pm CET, release December 1, 2026.

We've already made two catalogues. AI toys, things that don't exist, objects Santa wouldn't dare pull out of his sack. It was fun. It was already a little disgusting. Nobody filed a complaint, and that's exactly the problem.

This year, we stop hinting. We want it to show, to reek, to stain the page. Vol. 3 isn't a Christmas catalogue: it's a product recall on glossy paper. An aisle we lock shut. A piece of evidence we still wrap with a nice golden bow.

You've got an image generator, questionable taste, and no reputation left to protect? Perfect. We're waiting for you. What we're looking for

A product. A studio shot. A shitty name. A price. An instruction sheet that lies.

The toy has to look like it's for sale, then make you want to throw up, to fuck, to file a complaint, or all three. If it could sit on a real shelf for three seconds before the consumer-safety authority comes running, send it. If it passes too easily, it's too tame: do it again. The brief in one sentence

Make the toy you wouldn't dare show your parents, or your client, and above all not a child. Specs

Five proposals maximum. Each visual = a product name + one catalogue line (material, recommended age, warning, fake price). No essay. No manifesto. A shelf tag. Don't publish anything before the release.

Deadline: November 10, 2026, 8pm CET. Release: December 1, 2026.

Vol. 3 doesn't need to be smart. It needs to be vile and flawless. Open the toy. Make it squirt. Don't wipe. What happens next?

You send, we look at everything: every image, every tag, every typo.

Your toy makes the cut? We write to you before the release to tell you it'll be in the catalogue, with your name under it. You can show it to your mother. Or not.

Your toy doesn't make the cut? You won't get a message. No email, no DM, no "thanks for taking part, we loved your world." Silence is the answer. We get too much filth to explain to everyone why their garland of guts wasn't shiny enough: we'd rather spend that time making the catalogue.

In practice: no news by release day = not selected. No point following up, no point asking for feedback.

Two last zones we keep our fingers out of: no religion, no ongoing conflicts. Not out of virtue, just because we have neither the time nor the desire to handle the mess, the reports, and the 400-line comment threads.

The LHC team. Key facts Deadline : November 15, 2026, 8pm CET Publication : December 1, 2026

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